


Two Sides of a Different Coin

by ilostmyshoe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Evil Sam Winchester, Gen, M/M, Sam 'Boy King of Hell' Winchester, Soulless Sam Winchester, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilostmyshoe/pseuds/ilostmyshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never visits his brother, but that doesn't mean he doesn't think about him. It isn't what you think, except maybe it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Sides of a Different Coin

He never visits his brother.

He never visits, but he always knows exactly where his brother is. His brother’s location changes the shape of the entire map, bending and molding continents, forming a sinkhole with a stronger pull than gravity itself.

He turns away from it during hunts, when his mind glows bright and sharp. Then he is the blade and the bullet and the fire, and all obstacles melt before him. His mind hums with purpose, drowning out the empty echoes at his side while evil screams and bleeds and burns. But when the sun rises the hunt has ended, the flame has turned to ash, and his eyes are drawn back along the fault lines towards the center of his world.

He finds himself driving down endless back county roads. Everything fades into wisps of dreams, and he feels like he might drift off alone into the Milky Way. But his brother is his anchor, and the bond between their souls draws him back to the earth.

When humanity becomes a meaningless, faceless blur, he wonders why other people strive so hard for connection. He knows, in an abstract way, that others conflate sex with love. He’s had sex with plenty of women. It feels good, and they seem to enjoy it. But it doesn’t compare to this thing that ties him to his brother, this need that pulses inside of him, deeper than his bones.

He never visits his brother.

He can never even get close. He knows he would be drawn all the way down, and he promised himself that he would give his brother space. He knows how hard it was for his brother to leave the life, and he can’t deny the darkness that shrouds him: it would haunt even the briefest visit. Only his absence can keep his brother safe. So in between hunts he skirts the edge of the gravitational field, toying with the point of no return.

He never visits his brother . . . until he does.

What does the reunion look like? Is there a frantic confrontation in the dark or awkward pleasantries in bright suburbia? Which branches of the family tree scratch at the window in the background? When green eyes meet hazel, which is the first to look away?

It doesn’t matter. Both reunions are one and the same. His brother looks at him with the same disbelief.

_Are you really here? Why did you leave me alone for so long? How could you think I was happy without you?_

It doesn’t matter whether the words are said aloud or not. He hears them just the same, and he will never find the right answer.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is more than a little odd. For clarification, the story is supposed to be like those pictures that you can look at and see two different images. It can be about Standford-Era!Dean or Soulless!Sam, and by aligning both attempts to highlight some unexpected similarities between the two characters.
> 
> I'd love to know what other people think and which character they read it as first.
> 
> gnomees suggested reading it as Dean still hunting while Boy King Sam wrecks destruction on the Earth, which is a really cool option & also seems to work.


End file.
